Skunky Jowls.

Annie was sprayed by a skunk last week. Just before midnight. And I was already really, really tired. I think it was Tuesday night. I was surprised how much it smelled like 20% skunk and 80% really strong epoxy solution, like I used to use to patch up cracks in my snowboard - but stronger. It was extremely potent. Jaime and I took two separate trips to the 24 hour grocery store and somewhat frantically made the following cocktail:

1 quart or liter or whatever of Hydrogen Peroxide. 1/2 cup of baking soda 1 teaspoon or of dish soap or your liquid soap of choice.

Mix it up till it's frothy. Pour it all over the struggling upset dog. Use big rubber gloves to rub it in (don't do this with bare hands, really) while it stings the eyes of your poor dog. For good measure, coat your dog in Scope mouthwash, just to make up for any stubborn lingering stench, then rinse it all off. Do it twice for good measure, and don't miss any spots. It actually works.

In Annie's case, she didn't just get sprayed by a skunk, she chased down and bit a skunk, so she is now referred to as "skunky jowls." As she was drying from our exhaustive outdoor bathing, She grew antsy, and ripped her collar right off the leash that is staked to the ground outside our back door. Literally ripped the collar. (Good thing it was her extra collar we don't ever use.) Her goal was to get back at that skunk by biting it again, which she did, while growling. Apparently the skunk was still right around the corner because she got it so good the first time, it couldn't even limp away. She put the final chomp on it and then came back when I screamed at her, waking up our neighbors i'm sure.

This was not a cool thing she did. We had to start over. This is when I made another trip to the store, more more of the secret sauce ingredients.

Finally, we went to bed. The front and back porch still stunk of skunk, but Annie was alright (except for a slight lingering of skunky jowls, which were eradicated the next day thanks to Jaime). Annie had bloodshot eyes for several days from all the chemicals.

Animal control came and took the wheezing, disabled skunk from our backyard the next day. Tested it for rabies and called to let us know - no rabies.

Annie still barks at skunks and coyotes and cats and anything else that creeps outside at night. A near perfect dog. Near.

Meanwhile Jaime and I used our Best Buy Rewards money to go buy some DVDs, one of which I lobbied to be Marley & Me. We watched Marley & Me a few nights after the incident, and reaffirmed that our dog was awesome and we love her like whoa. I cried at the end. I didn't cry the first time I saw it (in the theater), but I did cry like a baby when I read the book a couple years ago. It's a good book, and I'm only getting softer these days - sue me. I recommend it to anyone that got married, moved to South Florida and has a crazy lab that they got in South Florida as a puppy, but then their work in the media/communication field moved them far away, where the dog gets to run in the grass and snow more. Anyone that fits that description will probably love it. You know anyone like that?

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