Identity crisis?

This who I am to people:

I don't drink, smoke, use illegal drugs or even swear (much). I'm married, have a mortgage, go to church, and am even involved in Boy Scouts. I know more useless Star Wars "facts" than I'm proud to admit, and I wear collared shirts much more often than tee shirts, even though my steady job requires no particular dress code. In high school, I had a letterman jacket, but it was from a fine-arts letter earned through years of band, choir, drama, etc. I'm a bit overweight and I have allergies. According to my last voter registration, I'm a registered Republican. At one point I carried a Michigan driver's license. By this description I'm pretty much the squarest dude on earth. And it's all true.

In contrast, some people know this other guy:

He's a drummer, guitarist, and rock band veteran. He has owned motorcycles (plural), and is an addicted snowboarder, skateboarder, and outdoorsman. He works in advertising, wears thick-framed glasses and shades, drives a VW and has a hot woman and an awesome dog. He grew up in California but has lived in major east coast, Midwest, tropical, and inter-mountain west markets, as well as more than a couple years in Europe. He's bilingual. His favorite movie is Ferris Bueller's Day Off and pretty much strives to live a life that makes Ferris look boring. He's big on tolerance, cultural education and open-mindedness. He listens to NPR and is currently thinking about his next album release while planning another adventure in a foreign country.

Together, here's where I've noticed we're netting out: Between the urbane hipsters who get nervous/contemptuous around anyone who doesn't drink and has already been married four and a half years at 28 years old, and the quiet, church-going family types who like to put down roots and not cause a ruckus - our combined presence is bound to make most anyone uncomfortable. Just for different reasons.

Those who are open minded, no matter where they come from, tend to get along with me splendidly.