Knowing you're have a baby, a kid, a human, coming in seven months or so is the weirdest feeling ever.
I thought my life was full of excitement and mystery and "what's next?" already. But now I feel I've barely touched the surface thus far. Although this kid was planned, the 'holy poop, we're going to have Forsyth progeny and what on earth are we going to name him/her and what will our governing parenting principles be and what about schools and college and the shotgun I'll have to buy if she's a girl' thoughts still descended rather suddenly on me like the heaviest helium challenge and responsibility I've ever attempted to carry.
I'm pretty sure "attempted" is going to be the operative word over the next 20+ years as we bushwhack on this journey.
I say 'heaviest helium' because it's still a positive, floating feeling. We're ecstatic and hopeful.
I was having a good talk with my good friend Dave almost 2 years ago, shortly after he and his wife Jessica had a (cutest) girl (ever), Penny. Jaime and I weren't trying to have a kid then, but I was voicing my stereotypical concerns of being able to afford all the things I'd want for my future child (both financially and time-wise), and some hesitation to jump in. I must have used the word "scared." He responded with some friendly empathy and then expressed in his newly-minted father voice "Being afraid of having a kid is like being afraid of winning a million bucks."
You may think that's clear, but Dave has his masters in Economics, so I hope there wasn't some complicated allegory that I missed on how a million dollars is actually not much, or actually a horrible thing, or something. I think not, though.
Dave's words are pretty much what I'm going to ride until mid-January at which point I won't I won't be mentioning it around Jaime anymore - lest in the delivery room she break every bone in my hand and scream at me "THIS! IS NOT! A! MILLION! BUCKS!" Wouldn't want to seem flippant, now.
Oh man. Here we go. Wish me luck and give me wisdom and courage. I recon the course of one's life is pretty much determined by those three things all kickboxing each other in a triangular ring.
p.s. I am hereby declaring and time stamping it on the interwebs for all to see: I'm pretty confidant we're having a boy. I'll get into my logical reasoning on a later post (these things are determined by logic, right?).